How to prepare for anal: Preparing for anal advice
Educate yourself about anal
Talk to your partner before having anal sex
Try anal sex on your own first
Keep it hygienic
Go slow
Level up with anal sex positions
1. Educate yourself
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The very idea of having anal sex can be nerve-wracking, especially when we consider all the misinformation on the subject. But by first familiarising with what to expect, you can be more prepared and ready when you get down to business for the first time. Look up any element that’s making you worried, whether it’s the potential messiness, the sensation, your partner's love-making style or any psychological aspects.
Keep in mind that it’s really vital you don’t rush ahead if you’re not feeling up to it. Your comfort, wellbeing and boundaries are the most important thing and it’s totally okay to wait or give anal sex a miss if you feel as though you're moving too fast, aren't trying it with the right person or don't want to experiment with it at this point in your life.
2. Talk with your partner before anal sex
It is of the utmost importance that you and your partner have discussed having anal sex prior to trying it. Consent is key in all play, and it’s never a good idea to ambush your partner with a new sex act. Always ask permission before and always check in during a new experience.
But first, discuss and establish your comfort level together and take gradual steps. In order to respect everyone involved and have the most pleasurable experience, make sure to not pressure yourself, or your partner, into doing something they’re not ready for. Easing into things and knowing what to expect, and feeling ready, will help you both have a more comfortable and fulfilling experience.
3. Try anal alone first
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You might already know that masturbation is super important for understanding your vulva and getting used to different sensations. Well, the good news is that it's also a really great way to prepare yourself for anal sex. Begin with anal fingering at your own pace. Be sure to use lots of lube and slowly insert your own finger into your anus, so you get to know how it feels. You can start by pressing your perineum and anus to get used to the sensation of pressure there and then slowly take things to the next level.
The anus doesn't self-lubricate in the same way that a vagina does, so it's crucial to use lube. This minimises the risk of soreness and injury - such as tearing - and essentially makes everything feel a hell of a lot nicer and more pleasurable. A good, water-based lube works well for anal - and water-based lubes are compatible with condoms and sex toys, too. This Liquid Silk lube isn’t sticky and is long lasting.
Once you're comfortable fingering yourself, it can be useful to experiment with different sensations. And, if you're comfortable, using small anal sex toys is a great way of doing this. Anal beads are a good starter toy to help with this, they're small and you can go at your own pace with them.
Begin by inserting the smallest bead, and slowly insert more depending on your comfort level. And, we can't say this enough, remember to use lots of lube. The anus doesn't naturally lubricate, so it needs a helping hand. If you're using silicone anal toys (which many of them are), be sure *not* to use silicone lube. Only used water-based lube with silicone toys, otherwise they can become damaged.
If you're comfortable with anal beads, give a small anal sex toy like a vibrating butt plug a go. Again, use loads of lube and insert it slowly and gradually, adjusting to the feeling.
4. Keep it hygienic - Anal sex and mess
A lot of people are worried by the potential mess involved with anal. Before anal sex, there are cleaning techniques you can use. Let's be honest it's always good to keep in mind that you are, after all, sticking something in your bum. The more comfortable you get with a possible bit of poo making an appearance, the less shocked you'll be if it happens.
Voicing these concerns with your partner - maybe even making a joke of it together and being able to laugh about it - will help banish feelings of shame which some people experience when thinking about the prospect of mess and anal sex. That said, if you want to take extra precautions beyond a baby wipe or soap and water, you can use an enema or anal douche for a more comprehensive clean.
Lots of people do this, but do bear in mind that douching or using an enema too often can upset your body's natural equilibrium and bacteria levels and cause gut issues and infections, so use your anal douche sparingly and never douche your vagina.
5. Go slow
When the time comes to have anal sex with a partner, if you've followed all of the above steps you should be emotionally and physically prepared. Whether they're using their penis or a strap-on/dildo, going slow will allow you to have the time to adjust to the size and sensations without becoming overwhelmed or off-put by the feeling.
Some people prefer to use a specialist lube that relaxes the anus or a silicone lube for anal sex as it can be slipperier and make insertion easier. Again, remember that silicone lube isn't compatible with silicone toys so pop a condom on your strap if it's silicone based.
Rather than rushing straight in, you can kick things off with toys, fingering and rimming to make you as relaxed and ready for penetration as possible. If you're on the receiving end, walk your partner through what feels good - helping to manage and set the pace. Communicate how it's feeling constantly and check in with each other regularly.
If you're on the giving end, make sure to pay attention to your partner at all times, so that you're on the same page. Take care to listen to and notice their non-verbal cues as well.
6. Level-up with anal sex positions
Once you've gotten more comfortable with the sensation of anal play, you can try anal sex-friendly positions for new sensations and ease of penetration. Everybody is different and what works for one person might not work for another, so bear in mind that if being penetrated from behind whilst you're on all fours doesn't seem like a good idea for you, know that you can try anal sex in just about any position.
For first timers, lots of eye gazing and physical touch on other erogenous zones can take the experience to the next level and ensure optimum communication and intimacy, which can be so, so important when you're crossing into new territory with a partner for the first time
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